Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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