Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
