Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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