You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Randomize
