I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize
