Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
I love having hate sex.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
