So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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