Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize