She said her name was "party"
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
