imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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