haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
