Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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