Having a random hookup so left but love u
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
That was an excessively violent trivia night
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
so much tequila, so little girl.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize
