the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
