put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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