what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
