Me too!
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
