i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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