After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
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