how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
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