8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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