everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
