just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize