So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
How's work?
Spinning.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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