Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
