Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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