Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
