Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize
