I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
