my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It's blow job season.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
