Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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