I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Man, jail baloney is awful.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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