During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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