Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize