if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
