Jerry, you need to find god
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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