He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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