Kiss
Puke
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I need moral support for this bender
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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