Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Randomize
