like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
