I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
