She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
