I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
