I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
