I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
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you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
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