i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
Randomize
