then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
