Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
