3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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