Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
