We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
Fuck appropriateness.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
