i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
