He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
This is the prime rib incident all over again
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Randomize
