I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I'm having to shit out rocks
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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