i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
I could fuck to npr.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
