OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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