So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
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