When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize