I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
The air taste purple.
Randomize
