Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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