Don't you send me to vm
Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
If anyone remembers any details of tonight please address concerns to my lawyer. This is a mass text.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
All I want is dick and wine.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
