She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
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