I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
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