I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
