yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Randomize
