U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
