I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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