Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I look excited, but its just a facade.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
