i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
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