Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
God, you're like boner-b-gone
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
