mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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