tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize