how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
