there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
