just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
The Olympian is in my bed
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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